Gay Love & Romance

Trailer  Now on Tubi. YouTube version censors the sex scene & curse words. Sweet, romantic gay love story. I'm watching it now for maybe the 5th time. Once with my boyfriend. He noticed a blooper. Ranger logo missing on door early in film. If that's the only bad thing you can say, must be a great movie. A must-see. I just finished it on Tubi. I can't wait to show my boyfriend the full sex scene. Around minute 47.  I can't stop smiling. UPDATE We skipped to the unedited sex scene. My boyfriend thought it was about to end. Then it got more intense. Three times. Like edging. Then climax. I touched him throughout the sex scene. When it was over. I let the movie play on again. And I kept touching him. I figured out the blooper. Drew's SUV has the forest service decal on driver side door, not the passenger door. And his brother Paul's vehicle has the logo on both sides. I think. My attention was divided.

I'm not lonely Since you're the only One who loves me When you're not here You're still my dear That's crystal clear I'm not lonely Because you love me Separated by vastness I still got happiness Time & space I miss your face But I'm not lonely Middle of the night In broad daylight In my heart there you are Why I'm not lonely You love me I'm not lonely Through the distance We got romance I took a chance Now I'm not lonely anymore How far away you are Company in my heart Though we might be apart I'm not lonely I know you love me I'm not lonely Because you love me I'm not lonely when I'm alone.

My tea is bittersweet & dirty. I guzzle it down with gusto.  Almost every story you guys related resonated with me. The suitcase in the trunk full of pictures. What if it was full of lingerie? My boyfriend isn't cheating on his wife with another woman. He's cheating as a woman with another man. For 20 years. We have monogamy EXCEPT he has a wife. He doesn't have a post-nup or pre-nup. Marriage has been loveless for a long time. He stays because of children & grandchildren & financial assets.  I came down with E.D. from prostate cancer 3 years ago. We kept on having sex. Eventually he wanted the real thing. We opened the relationship last year. We have no problem hooking up with strangers - except online. Now recommitted to "monogamy". I started a gay love blog to bring us back together. It worked. I got Cialis. My penis had shrunk from  radiation & hormone therapy. Sex is better now than ever. He's more petite. I'm 59 & he's 10 year

I can't just say stuff I have to make it real I must show my Love to the world How I feel about you Do things tangible Kiss touch hugs are not enough Whispers in your ears To dispell your fears I come & go & fall short I write a poem from my heart I can't just say stuff I must display my Love I take you to the mall for Christmas I show you off We stroll I'm so proud of you Silently our bond speaks out I take you on a date We swim in the lake I pitch a day tent We make out I erase your doubt You light up my face It's not enough to say stuff How I feel I make it real In your heart I do things In mine You make me sing.

Double Standards I got 'em One for you my Lover And another for all others I'm a bigot when you turn on my spigot Love washes away judgment You're the only one who touches me So I treat you differently Indeed I discriminate On the basis of Love's oasis It's not fair?      Oh yes it is Supremely so If you want special treatment Treat me special The concept is not complex I take the initiative I'll be sensitive first Vulnerable & aroused  Make Love to be Loved More & better than all the rest You must be special & unique You gotta put out once a week Damn Double Standards I got 'em But only one for my Lover.

I was broken in pieces You put me back together With your crazy glue You can still see the cracks I feel them when it rains The one in my heart That's the biggest Your hand slipped right through I fell in love with your crazy glue The good parts & the bad parts You pieced me back together Like a puzzle without a guide picture I felt every touch & cringe You squeezed & held On your knees you fixed me With your crazy glue My heart was broken Until you made the repair With your crazy glue You made me love you Like fragmented pieces We're bonded together now Because of your crazy glue More than ever I love you.

In my Heart of Love I hid all my feelings Until they exploded Into a Love song I wrote it My Heart of Love rides the rollercoaster G-forces of emotion Whiplash deep & fast The bridge of a Love song I drove it A bucking bull will Break your back But a bronco will Take you back We ride off into the sunset Another Love song we don't forget I told you  My Heart of Love was the stage Where I rehearsed & cursed Now in our old age You're my only live audience I keep on writing & performing  Poetry In my Heart of Love I hid all my feelings Until I met you You are my muse This poem you inspire And all my fire & desire Your hand I hold it In my Heart of Love You come here for a hookup I play the songs I rehearse Deeper & faster You breathe & curse You ride the rollercoaster Bucking bull Breaks your back Bronco of love Takes you back In my heart with all these feelings Stay a while for the healing In my Heart of Love Karaoke at the after-party In my Heart of Love S

Love is a giant rock On the sandy beach How it got there Nobody knows We are there I walk around it You mount it You stand on the apex Your pretty hair in stiff wind Bikini top & bottom Into the roar of the ocean You shout     I Love You You look down upon me I read your painted lips You leap into my arms We crash down on the soft sand I hold both your hands We laugh & giggle On the beach we wiggle A salty wave sneaks under us I kiss you for serious Like a Rock of Love Where it came from Nobody knows We are there.

 

 Picture July 2018. Lyrics 1998.

Cul-de-sac of Homeless Gay Love True story. Nobody bothered us until the preacher took notice from the church nearby. He ran us off on Sunday morning. A state trooper had already stopped by. He checked all our documents. My boyfriend & I & my mini van all came up clean in 1999. The trooper explained. We were technically on interstate property. You can hear & see traffic through the woods. There's no prohibition from "resting" here overnight. It doesn't look like we're living here. No trash in sight. Remote. Secluded. No complaints registered. Just a welfare check on routine patrol. Two soft-spoken guys sleeping in a clean van. Obviously a gay couple. Sometimes when people realize we're a homeless gay couple, they are extra nice. They think we're being persecuted. Kicked out from somewhere. Yet our love perseveres. But really it's poor life decisions. One Sunday morning we slept late in the van. The preacher took notice. I suppose he thought

Upcoming is the 20th Christmas Since we met The first one We spent apart With broken hearts From the first minute I saw you I didn't expect it to last I was wrong as Hell First Thanksgiving we made love In a real place named Love In hindsight you were planning the breakup This was closure & foreshadowing But I didn't see the door closing First week in December I called to see you again You said you couldn't     Ever Can't stop thinking of me It's over     That's final     Dammit Yeah we got back together in the spring I'm planning a gay shopping road trip With you & for you First week in December  Not taking you for granted Is how we lasted First Christmas we were broken-hearted 20th Christmas Love just getting started.

Lay your head on my heart Don't say a word if it's over Just let it hurt Let it sober you up Soon after Thanksgiving Good times we don't forget  At the beach in the sun In the forest on the lake Skinny-dipping in the nude On the trail to secret love But most of all in the parking lot Where we met after Labor Day Tumultuous bliss until after Thanksgiving When we broke up first  Boy did it hurt    Fast I got sober Couldn't find the right words Until after New Year's Hello...... I still love you Calling to make sure you're okay Back together by St Patrick's Day We got drunk on Love Don't say a word     It's not over Let's have another drink Another chance at a dirty dance We won't be sober But this year We will be together After Thanksgiving.

"Wake me up" if you want my love "Flirt Bomb in the Forest" Rock bottom at the "Bottom of a Bottle of Beer"

Weatherman calls for rain She's been wrong before Romantic Love causes pain Wisdom has been wrong before Sure     Give me your advice But I won't follow it Can't swallow it Just to make you happy I've been wrong before I heeded advice not needed Resentment is a hard feeling Feelings I want to be soft Feeling each other up in the loft Beliefs are firmly held Poor grammar correctly spelled I've heard this tune before Weatherman calls for rain She's been wrong before But not this time Out my window Everything is wet Damp & dark & dreary Cold & wet & scary I should feel so lonely But I don't  I've been wrong before But not this time That was before I met you My heart listens to wisdom no more Too loud the love song in my head You know the one called I Love You in a Downpour We've both been wrong before But not this time That was before we met Now we sing a duet I Love You in a Downpour I've been wrong before But not this time.

I can make a change I can be less abrupt Less often I will interrupt If I don't act the same I won't be the same I can make a change for your Love I can be more passionate & romantic Calm your heart from any panic Be more reliable & vulnerable I can tell a story by holding hands In the Land of Blissfulness Our eyes make future plans I want to be your husband Your shelter from any storm Built on promises of happiness Wood stove & kisses keep you warm  I can make a change Be more honest & optimistic Keep the faith when full of doubt More naive in your arms On the street I'm realistic In the sheets I'm poetic That's not gonna change Who I am will remain I can make big changes On chance to make a family Move away to the stars Risk it all for Love Return home jaded & forlorn My frown keeps me looking down Where your Love finds me I can make a change If that's what you really want Be less honest or passionate Less intimate or raw Less intense to de

 

Like a secret lover I'm rough around the edges Like a silent partner You hear me in the darkness As a secret craves exposure I must keep my cards close My careless words to a whisper Like     How have you been? I miss you man      Let's make plans  When no one's looking   Hold my hand  Like a secret lover Unsure where I'm headed To us both it's a secret But your heart is no stranger To the lonely danger On the highway to a companion Like a true lover Your truth I won't reveal My lips are sealed What if someone sees us? Acting like careless lovers Maybe they'll keep the secret too Breaking hearts in love is taboo So we go on kissing each other Out in the open   Out on the range Like secret lovers missing each other.

Feeling      Damn these Feelings  They leave me reeling Wheeling & dealing For a better one to come along A precious feeling With a drag name & stage presence Emotion     Damn these emotions  They come & go as they please Like tides of the ocean Like seasons of the sun Some are sad & bad But most are fun Mood      Damn these moods Shifty & always late like the moon Wonder why they wax & wane When you come around I push all but a few back in the closet I lock 'em down Happy      Damn this happiness  You can stay out & play When my gay lover arrives later today Be fresh & ready for his teddy Feed the mood    Dinner candle-lit Passionate & intimate Feelings       Damn these Feelings  Leave them in the closet All but a precious few Happy   Fun   Trust   &   Lust Y'all can stay out & play I'm feeling like I love you.

I thought it was thunder But it wasn't It was 2 tricks in 2 trucks I hoped it might be a new start And it was When 2 hearts met each other I thought you were too rough When push come to shove Scared of stranger-danger But not enough  Afraid but not ashamed When I take your hand I want the world to see us I thought I had a headache But I didn't It was nervous fear of great heights That I might fall into If I start to like you  Where love comes to shove I might fall I thought it was friendship Then I start to wonder A kiss on my lips A tingle from down under I thought it was thunder It made me over A tempest of happiness & bliss  I found out it's called Love.

Icy sky turns blue  But not my heart Lonely night is dark  But not my soul The windchill is stinging Though my spirit is singing Your touch is what's missing My lips are pretend-kissing In a waking dream So far downstream without a boat  But I feel so close when I think of you Holiday is coming Soon Lush trees lose their leaves Lunatics lose their mind I haven't lost you yet You're away working & busy Lusting for me less eloquently Rougher around the edges In your love letters If the poetry is half-true  Holiday is coming Soon If ice blocks your way Blizzard takes you hostage I will pay the postage  My heart sings to you My love shines for you My spirit is there with you I will come get you Holiday is coming Soon.

🎄 Christmas 2020 I gave to my gay love MUSIC. 2 jingles + card + romance. To end my first year with prostate cancer. He stayed with me. We're more happy than ever. ♥️💋💕🎄🎵 

The Gay Poem Podcast premiere. 3 love poems I wrote in last 6 days. Podcast is 6 minutes. The YouTube channel is @blairhawkins7490

My Coming Out Story.  Is there a regular gay podcast in my future? When I speak one inch from microphone, it sounds pretty good. But my face is blocked. ♥️ I'm gay. Straight around the edges. Makeup! Lights. Action baby. I came out in 2003 in the newspaper when I was 39. I was running for political office. Page 100 in the book. Otherwise I didn't have to come out. People just knew.  Even girls I dated figured it out quickly. Except I stayed in the closet for military & work. I had boyfriends I introduced to family as obviously gay. I met my current boyfriend in 2004. He's still in the closet at home & at work. But not when we go out. Surely everyone knows, just not saying anything. 💕

I don't want to love you Still I do more than ever I can't lose you Confuse you with normalcy It hurts from feeling so good My head spins with vertigo Just like it should Since we met so long ago I still fall down on my hands & knees Scratched up  Bruised up  Bloodied up I fall down in Love I slide into home plate Champagne I anticipate I don't want to love you Still I do more than ever I made so many mistakes About as many as you Time-out     Call it a draw We both win with bragging rights You coming to the after-party? Theme is romance Take another chance I don't want to love you Slow dancing with my partner Falling down together I don't want to love you But I do more than ever.

(I chose this song to feature my latest poem. Angela Bofill - This time I'll be sweeter / Our love will run deeper) Have Faith in Love That's easy for me to say Be happy     POOF ! Sorry It just don't work that way If only it were that simple Then nobody would be single We live & swim in a sea of doubt You don't have to say Be doubtful & dubious That's the human condition So what is the secret? You give love away for free Asking for nothing in return Knowing you will get burned How the head to the heart listens It doesn't follow proper grammar You fake it until you make it Don't say too much Love is a poor communicator Listen to the heart Hurt feelings you must navigate Deeds of Love create Faith in Love Have faith in me like I have in you Have Faith in Love.

When the sun rises It feels like the first day Of the rest of my life If I had to pick a lover  It's you Can I kayak down the river with you? Must I always row upstream? Must every dream be extreme? Over the top & exotic Like a desert hot Like a mountain I must climb But never reach the rocky outcrop I cross the line but hit the target Romance strikes the heart When the sun sets It's the first night Of the rest of my life I see the Milky Way & constellations Your sky blue eyes & libations They blur into one painting The people's choice   High ranking Your face in the stars Overshadows my mistakes They slip out of mind Oh wait   That's the moon rising Looks new & fresh every time  Being with you feels like  The first day of my life.

Why did you drop everything To dig a hole for my cat Who died 2 hours ago? Why are we together still? You say with eye contact We have a MONOGAMY PACT A contract    A guarantee Gentleman's understanding A lady's promise & intent Love's covenant & commitment Wait    Those are my words You call it a MONOGAMY PACT Which we made the first few weeks After I strayed & got laid You promised to make it so good I won't go looking I promised to be honest If urges win To tell you before we make love again We followed through Somehow you knew Monogamy no matter what Makes romance so hot It grows the love in your compact You apply make-up before we hook up Because we have a PACT It keeps us coming back.

Is that a question? He sounds so declarative He looks so demonstrative He describes himself as scruff Insatiable & can't get enough Now that's exaggeration But not much He must be speaking Love He wishes it were true Says it like it's true I understand what he means Though his words confuse me too I might say I'm ok with a 3-way My lover says  No way Remember last time How jealous I became He's not wrong As we discussed it Our relationship isn't based on words There's no proper way  Right or wrong To say it except in a love song But you don't hear his side Silent are his kisses Deliberate is his touch Unequivocal his presence Here because of me His Love is without Question.

Lyrics on a napkin Roses in a picture Poetry I can't stop Momentum of the Heart Gay Love on public display We take chance together Secret romance not so tucked away Proudly in love We flirt with the edge Speed limit or just a guideline? The times we had They flew by       The clock stopped  Memories of the heart When we break up When we make up They become dreams we conjure up In private with body heat Solemn promises to keep In the future & forever Making love to each other We took it to the limit And broke it In your ear I spoke it Love on a napkin I wrote it Us in a picture I took it The music we can't stop Momentum of the Heart.

Heavy frost on the car windows Biting chill in the air Icy clouds in the sky Warm heart in this chair Ruminating on you Over-thinking about you I'll never get over you And I don't intend to Cold steam rises from the lake Billows shaped like hearts So quiet        Holding hands  You can hear a bird chirp Floating in the crispness of my mind Christmas is 6 weeks away You already know my first gift Gay shopping in another town Road trip for intimates All the way inside & out All the leaves have fallen Only Christmas trees wear clothing We're exposed as gay lovers Gay shopping for gay Christmas Some things you know you're getting Like kisses & unmentionables We're both vulnerable Same as you got me last year I'm giving you fire & desire Passion & commitment I can't wait to see What outfit you pick out You sashay in sexy lingerie Fog on the runway You on my mind for Christmas.

You touch my heart When you touch my arm It's an art     A magic charm  In broad daylight rainy day You wait for me in the parking lot You bring me coffee While my cat is at the vet End of life care Again you are there He was adopted 12 years ago We were a gay couple We still are He's more than a cat He's our baby A product of shared love From beginning to end He played with your dogs He lit up our lives He kept me warm on cold nights Hero the fearless cat And you my fearless lover My real true family You touch my heart You keep me warm.

We've done a lot But we've never done that  Like we did it today That's all I dare say It was love in the making We met near 20 year ago Never thought love would grow This intense & so immense It felt like slow motion Your love is gonna give a wop On the right side of my heart Really?     Really      WOP !!! Love leaves fingerprints Spanks me where it makes sense Seduces & transmutes There can be no substitute Or juicy detail to relate Suffice it to say I'm walking on clouds Wow!  Kapow!! I give to you the love of a top Are all your feelings about us ok? You smile & say  Yessir We've done a lot But we've never done that Like we did today For sure I'm coming back.

♥️ME.   Did I hurt your feelings? I didn't mean to be so late  That's why you're upset? 💕HIM.   I'd like to say something Put things in perspective The only damage is a feeling Normally I would just get over it We're together only Because we feel like it Do I feel like being with you? ♥️ I sure do feel like being with you (Silence) So I didn't do anything major You feel scared & afraid with doubts Emotions come & go without control And love means the most You fear I might disappear Like all your past lovers So when I was late I hurt your feelings Is that right? 💕 Yeah     I love how you articulate  ♥️ And your other feelings are okay? 💕 Yeah     Now I feel so silly  ♥️ Me too     Silly in love  I will make it up to you With extra romance later tonight Does that sound like a deal? 💕 Yeah ❤️ (kisses him) 💋💕

Married gay couple talk about growing up & coming out in Canada.  I'm like Tyler (right). Bullied harshly. So my skin is thick. No attack phases me. I protect & nurture my boyfriend & his feelings. He's like Todd. More naive. More trusting. He feels hurt more deeply from haters. I love the new podcast. Just talk about coming out every week. ♥️

Hump Day! Memory Wednesday.  I was in my 20s. At the gay bar. I met a guy. He was perfect. But he didn't like me romantically. We would talk about our failed relationships. So it went for some years. Then I didn't see him for some years. Then one night he's at the bar. Now he wants to take me home. After rejecting my advances for so long. I still like him. I'm single. But things have changed. I said... ...If I go home with you, I'm YOUR TOP. Our roles have reversed. You can't find love because you're looking for a bottom. In reality you are a bottom. You need the love of a top, not to be a top. Tonight we can start something new & special..... He smiled. He had already flirted with every man in the bar. So I was his last choice. Even now in the moment. He left alone. Not long afterwards, when I was 40, I met my current boyfriend in the great outdoors in broad daylight. Mature adults. I'm the top. He's the bottom. We both reversed our roles in the

Your gay relationship can tolerate anything EXCEPT when your lover is screwing everyone in town but you. Why won't he have sex with you anymore?  After 9 years on & off with crack addicted boyfriend, who turns tricks in your presence, you must walk away like he has so many times. Like a ghost. He doesn't love you & never did.  What do you love about him? His money, good job, good looks? The fact that he's hiv pos like you? But neither of you is monogamous. Both are happy to finally quit the other. Full movie on Tubi.

 

I said I love you I'm waiting to hear it back from you You smile into my eyes You look right & left & right back at me Like pondering & wondering Something to think about Your fingertips touch my neck Your tongue licks your lips You lean in for a kiss Like a slow hurricane Love is not what you say It's what you display When you see me at the club I'm good to go  Where to? But home It's where we end up always When I hold your hand I forget the past I don't care    I forgive  2-Heart apartment is where we live You don't say it but I hear it In every quiver you deliver Romance & reassurance When you walk through that door You look my way I'm the only reason you're here Without a word you say I love you.

Lines on a piece of paper No it's not drugs It's what's on my mind Floating in & out of consciousness The happiness you bring Inspiration I sing Lyrics on lips of a lover Crooning to your heart a capella So glad I'm your fella Quiet storm with downpours Please take my umbrella My heart gets wet for you Lies on the first date & others  When my fear is on fire Confessions of desire Write them on a piece of paper Then burn it like you mean it Start over fresh like a Phoenix My spirit is yours to possess  Passion in downpours Romance on a piece of paper Lust on lips of a lover.

 

Behind tinted windows We kiss passionately Like a flock of birds In synchronicity I know your next move You know where my hand is headed We've been gay shopping together We can't contain ourselves In public    Sunny weather  Choreography like a squadron We move like a married couple Communicating complex thoughts With a single hand signal We behave ourselves nonchalant I feel so proud to show you off Road trip is the date We break down on the interstate Secret love craves exposure We got it that day It was June    We dressed extra gay That's how we celebrated This year Gay Pride We went gay shopping What's the secret destination? Spencer's in Harrisonburg Virginia We're coming back for Christmas In the parking lot Again we will kiss passionately Behind Tinted Windows.

... me on Scruff 5 min after we break up...♥️🎵💕

Clock falls back an hour I fall back in love Sun rises an hour earlier 5 o'clock sunset I fall back in love Go to bed with Memory & Dream  Lonesome threesome making love For days & weeks apart Ghosts of past & future Entertain my heart 3's company Until the moment you come back Then only you & me like eternity  We fall back in love You've been thinking about me Again you want to see me Remembering & dreaming Yeah    Okay    Me too  The sun rises early for you Clock strikes 5 dark 30 We are back in love thirsty  For the next time.

Sex Positivity     What is it? Before during & after You feel so good like you should No shame to hide or display No reason to argue or get upset No trauma to think about Before during & after sex As queer as it gets You smile     Burst into laughter  Can't contain or restrain yourself No bad words for body parts Only kisses & positive thoughts Naughty names affectionately tossed When spoken out loud You grin uncontrollably You feel so good inside You're not out but you're proud Afraid is not the same as shame When I make love to you It takes some getting used to In the gay universe So much doubt & guilt What a relief I found someone positive That's why we lasted so long A gay & a trans   As queer as it gets  Yet still going strong Before during & after sex We feel so good like we should Sex Positivity.

City of Bliss on Planet Venus  Routine visit 8 Days until return Rockets burn     Hearts yearn  Thunder roars   We explore Lights flash        Bodies clash Thank you until next rendezvous Family jewels intact What a nice rack To hang my memory in delight Might as well say it I done did it On a routine visit Y'all hooking up again? Don't hate us because we're lucky Rockets fire from the docket Spacecraft spins like a sprocket Until your next eclipse I'll be thinking of this And your sweet lips  Ultimate Bliss on Planet Venus Only 8 Days Away.