Posts

Showing posts from May, 2023

You Saved my Heart

Image
Gambler Rambler Reckless Planner  Lustful Romantic Boastful Panic The show goes on in every song The thrill of doing something wrong  Every night nervously in love I fall With adventure & mating calls The virgin sky I've never seen A secret place I've never been Where clouds are love bubbles Hurt feelings are the troubles I get dizzy Hold my hand I stumble hard in love again With a word I've never heard An idea unspeakable It's so absurd The notion of a tingly touch On my skin but an instant Can live so long in the distance Of a downgraded memory I forgot so much  I lost so many Worldly possessions & body Always I took chances & gambled You found me in shambles How an old man rambles You gave me focus  My muse You Saved my Heart.

Mathieu & Cédric - Bodies Flirt on the Beach

Image
... Your love is lifting me higher Than I've ever been lifted before...

Swim to Shore

Image
On the mountain side You can't climb anymore When the river floods You can't swim to shore Where the sun burns hot For rest you have to stop Under cool shade of a tree My heart embraces your memory I'm on my way in fair weather Like 2 people talking over each other Man Blair & Blaire with an (e) The (e) stands for Can't shut up Only my trans boyfriend can shush me When he does It's time for love Under cool shade of a tree On the mountain side I swim to shore.

Love Lives in the Heart

Image
Love speaks like poetry Not precise Nor exact But always based on a single fact Love is confused & confusing Flamboyant & dazzling  Delightfully distorted echoes  Of emotions all mixed up like us In a fishbowl We see ourselves In the future like a crystal ball You reach out & touch me Search my eyes for a sign Your arms wide open  I melt like candle wax As you caress my back Your breath takes mine away The poem pauses for a kiss I listen more intently Search the words for meaning Fruitless endeavor though I try Seems like forever  The message hides The meaning of a poem Is not in the poem It's in the heart Where love finds a home To speak with eloquence To move the audience With passion & hyperbole  In a universal language Love Lives in the Heart This poem is a letter From mine to yours It has only one message I Love You.

Ritchie & Patrick

Image
"Because you shouldn't need something doesn't mean you don't." Patrick is the top who talks a lot. For the past few years, he has perfected his hookup game. Relationships last a few weeks to a few months. But they all fizzle. Then one night he meets someone special. Ritchie acts like the assertive top who picks up Patrick on the subway. Another intense relationship Patrick assumes will end. So he breaks Ritchie's heart.  The one who breaks up must un-break the breakup. Patrick learns that bottoms are vulnerable & need reassurance & promises kept. Ritchie gives reassurance by letting Patrick make love to him. Nobody calls Patrick out for his BS like Ritchie does. This film is on my list for date night. I identify as Patrick. When I met my special boyfriend, I didn't know he was special. Now we both know.

Adam & Bernardo - Back together

Image
Adam & Bernardo are back together. Family therapy session 20 years after the parents sent Adam to conversion to make him straight. It didn't work. It damaged his psyche. Well. You have to forgive your parents & move on. Peace.

Sweat on the Brow

Image
Sweat on the Brow Dirt in the wrinkle Sunburn on the face Guilty as charged On the prowl Cool breezes Dusty sneezes Freaks come out at dusk I walk against traffic So Johns don't pick me up It's not fool-proof I got my second wind Tattered jeans Rattled nerves Haven't seen a payphone in years Blisters on my feet Other places are chafed I feel so ashamed My hands are shaking  Bloodshot eyes Crusty beard I look like a hot homeless guy Finally I'm home Greetings Boyfriend I had sex with someone Your car broke down out of town I felt so bad I walked home To punish myself And my cellphone battery went dead I'm so sorry Okay  You go take a bath Soak & relax I'll call the wrecker Conjure up some happy food We can talk about it later Hey  You feeling bad is apology enough Where are you now? Here with me Not that other guy I will make love to you Until you feel good about yourself again  Is that a deal? Yes A thousand times Yes. UPDATE I read this gritty poem to my bo

Language of Love

Image
If you learn the language of love, you'll be an expert communicator. Lovers speak obliquely, in opposites, circular, confusing. As do most people. A clear expression is refreshing. Today's example. PATRICK - I want you to top me but not today. RITCHIE - Do you want to top me? PATRICK - Yes. In this moment they're in a love bubble speaking the language of love. Patrick could have said, I want to top you. That's not how love speaks. Later on. RITCHIE - I like you. I'm this close to falling in love. But I don't think you're ready for a relationship. Their expressions indicate they both understand what is meant. Ritchie has already fallen in love & not ready for a relationship & is breaking up. Love is optimistic. Patrick loves Ritchie & is ready to commit. But Ritchie has pessimism & fear his past will repeat. It's sad & heart-breaking.  Compare with 9-1-1 Lone Star. Carlos addresses the fears of T.K. Later T.K. realizes Carlos needs to

Damn this Heart

Image
Damn this Heart That fell in love with you That made me do so many things I never thought I would Like Bras for a Cause Was there any doubt in any mind That we were a gay couple Secret love craves public display We've been together for so long I can't quit you & you can't leave me Stop fighting it Damn this Heart Can't stop dreaming of you Your lips Your curves  Your kiss Your swerves June is almost here There's gay pride somewhere We plan to be there For all the world to see Damn this Heart That fell in love with you.

Life is a Marriage of Mind & Body

Image
They complete each other They compete with each other Against the world In your heart They party With limitless hope for some day Whether condition is good or bad Always they're holding hands Even when they argue & disagree The mind pushes the body To achieve greatness In return Sound body gives clarity  Tireless devotion Endless negotiation Breathless exhilaration like the ocean On any given day Some call it love Your spouse may need Your tender touch or kind words We rely on each other Like a Marriage of Mind & Body One is lifeless without the other Until then We party.

Happiest Day

Warning: Edgy Content. Personal Update. Cialis works Y'all. 3 years Erectile Dysfunction. Drought of testosterone & proper love-making has ended. I am to go back on the hormone blocker in 2 days. But today (Sunday) was magical. You see those commercials. The couple are stupid happy like on drugs. That's how we feel. I feel masculine & powerful. He is delighted & elated. My strong arms don't budge as he squirms around. I'm confident. Not self-conscious about my body. Neither one of us achieved orgasm. We're old. But we both achieved erections. I achieved penetration as the top daddy is expected to. Romance is hot. Romance + domination = deep love. I don't often role-play the master because I'm so intense & scary. Today testosterone is surging. My boyfriend is so turned on by my domination. I got down on one knee. He was dressed in lingerie we ordered together. I asked him to be my pretend wife. He said Yes. A Thousand Times Yes. I reassured hi

Smoke Drink Party

Image
...Smoke Drink Party Down in Motel 6 Bacardi Til we lose all sense of time...

Trouble & Joy

Image
He was trouble He gave me joy He liked to cuddle My precious boy toy He was cute as a kitten Fuzzy like a puppy With him I became smitten He was more like a panther Predator on the prowl Like a super model who hustles His only game was troubadour Pedigree English Major When he drinks No feather is unruffled He was sweet We met on the street He gave me joy My precious boy toy Rare & Dear Brief & Severe Like any hurricane  Love breaks things I have no love insurance  Together we ride out the storm Now apart My heart is warm Fond memories of the trouble That gave me so much joy.

Love has Pride

I want the world to know Publicly You're the one I make love to Privately We dream & make plans To attend a Gay Pride June festival We hold hands Stand close together In a safe place of friendly travelers We celebrate outdoors out loud For a day We lose inhibition Your lingerie & jewelry on display We kiss & smile in style We spend money by the piles Fancy food truck lunch On a blanket on the grass My attention is focused on you  In a sea of hotties & temptation Our hearts skinnydip together No secrets Nothing to hide No shame of who we are I want the world to see That you are with me I can't wait to get back home And make love to you High on fellowship Drunk on lust Bonded like super glue The other days of the year too Simply put - I Love You.

Love is Fun

Image
During pillow talk We cuddle On tv We watch politics  You've never heard the term PSYOPS = psychological operations Really? You're kidding? Stop right there Mister! You confide in me your ignorance My impulse is to lampoon  How would that make you feel? Like not sharing Like not understanding Is preferred over asking a question What is wrong with me? Love is sensitive & serious Love is fun Have I not learned my lesson? I shouldn't make fun of the one I love If I want to have fun with you.

TK & Carlos - 9-1-1 Lone Star

Image

Don't Know Why I Didn't Come

Image
...My heart is drenched in wine You'll be on my mind  Forever Something has to make you run I don't know why I didn't come  I feel as empty as a drum I don't know why I didn't come...

Coming out Weather

Yesterday's weather was like Coming out of the closet  A nothing burger Cloudy & ominous all day Incessant chatter of severe weather In your ear & in your head You're in the bull's eye of potential The phone warns Rain at 5 o'clock Where is it? Loud on the radar Above your head called Virga Sprinkles No lightning No thunder Like coming out of the closet You worry so much of consequence Can't wait any longer Bam! You're out The hype of what might happen You feel it like it will happen But it's only in your head Take a red pill See the truth Wake up to sunshine today You're still gay & I still love you Let the storms pass overhead The closet won't protect you My love will give you shelter If you come out in truly bad weather.

Why I didn't Call

I feared rejection You're busy You can't get away I was nearby Beautiful day Alone & cooking for a few hours Roadside dispersed camping If 2 vehicles Don't come a-knocking Wild & peaceful Memories of you everywhere Everything I thought Would break us apart Made our bond stronger Only briefly a broken heart The reason I didn't call After all these years All your love & affection I will see you soon as scheduled In a place without rejection When you're not busy When you can get away Beautiful day at my house  More wild than peaceful Love is on the schedule That's why I didn't call.

Except for the First Time

I never cheated on you Sounds like something you say When you have cheated There I found myself yesterday With my lover in my arms  I was ordering his lingerie Yes I had sex outside the relationship It was ok because so did you You're married with a family  You didn't tell me at first  We deceive by omission But true enough When we met After 3 dates in 8 days Intense fear  Sabotage I turned a trick in the park  Again I made love to you Edgy & Raw Then I told you I thought it was over  I can't get rid of you that easy  You kept coming back to my charms I gave up other guys for you When I strayed I told you right away  Because love is blind & forgiving We go on living in love  You never lied to me I never cheated on you Except for the First Time.

Casual Betrayal

The guy in Seattle in 2002 What happened to him?  Which one? The twink who lived downtown I betrayed him I said I was a meteorologist He thought that was an astronomer I didn't correct him For fun & my own amusement I didn't think it was serious I wasn't looking for serious Me in my late 30s Him in his mid 20s But he was We slept together Twice in a couple weeks  My red Subaru sedan on the street In his car into the parking garage Up the elevator to his apartment Bedroom of safe sex without regrets He had to work early He let me stay & let myself out Then he knew I wasn't an astronomer He felt embarrassed & betrayed Rightly so But he still liked me  I wasn't boyfriend material Casual is 2 hookups 3rd is a new level His emotional IQ was higher than mine He had to work early I couldn't stay & let myself out He didn't trust me anymore  Casual Betrayal.

Unforgotten Dreams

What about this or that Forget the coulda woulda shoulda Regret by the reams Remember what went before Who stands before you now How long have you been here Nevermind Right now is now & right Just hold me tight The fright of chances not taken Many times I was mistaken Blurry vision of what's in store On wings of an eagle We soar In foggy weather  How long will you be here Until the end of the flight Just hold me tight Remember the good times  Together we try to forget The days & nights dreaming uneasy  Regret of chances not taken  Unforgotten Dreams.

Where We Are

Image
The moon has always been there Bright at night Pale by day Except eclipse Like the sunshine of time Broken clock twice a day is right  Where We Are Your eyes illuminate my smile Unless tears of sorrow As sure as the tide will rise Before the night is through As the sun shines truth Our lips will kiss in this place Two heavenly bodies embrace For a moment in the heart Before the night is through I will love you like an eclipse You will forget everything except  My kisses in this universe  Where We Are The moon has always been there.

Loyalty to Royalty

Image
Like Loyalty to Royalty I stay but disobey Defiance is not what I say It's what I do out of love for you I know you better Than you know yourself Who they think you are And who you really are Like Loyalty to Royalty I need you to look up to I attend your flesh & bones My spirit is lifted by your heart & soul Your dream & vision Triumph & disappointment Mean nothing to a king He's only a man in a station I'm a commoner Our love we have in common We're both subjects Hopeful & defiant It's what we do I stay in the way Like Loyalty to Royalty.

Won't Walk Away

I Won't Walk Away from love Not from you  Not this time Not again There's no bottle big enough To bottle up my emotions Only to shatter & splatter When you least expect them to I don't run away Not this time You plead & cry & say things That hurt my feelings Truths I don't want to hear But I'm still here with you Holding your hands as we argue Dilemma & disagreement I cry too & hug you & whisper things We'll get through this I promise I won't leave you Here's another kiss of dedication  I won't disappear Leave you in fear When the problem is unfixable I don't know what to do Only solution I can think of In this moment of uncertainty  I Won't Walk Away from your love.

Wolfgang & Hans - Cold war romance

Image

Von Kopf bis Fuß

Image
Ich bin von Kopf bis Fuß Auf Liebe eingestellt From head to toe  I am prepared for love.

The Urgency of Love

Image
I can't wait to see you again Longing for your love-making  I see your picture in the frame How you kiss me without shame But proudly in public Every chance you get You say Be discreet Then you hold my hand on the street I will try to comprehend The next mixed message you send If the phone rings I will trip over my feet Emergency! My baby might be calling me It's an urgent affair I miss your kiss It's not you Oh Despair! How long must I anticipate? A moment in time Forever in love Right now I see your picture Calm down The Urgency of Love.

Signed, Another Man - Clayton Shay

Image
Your girlfriend was cheating on you. You ask the bartender to pass along a note to her new boyfriend on how to make her happy.

Whatever Works

Image
Whatever Works I want to be with you Whatever words are synonyms For I Love You I miss your fragrant scent Your surprised expression When I give you attention How to be more sensitive A smile of recognition by the one Who knows you best Your shiny eyes & glossy lips A love I tried & failed to dismiss Powerless to resist My bricklayer hands & iron will They fall down under When compared to your wonder Sacrifice & fancy frill Our hearts pound as one Whatever words are synonyms For I Love You Powerful like the canyon river  Powerless to resist your kiss Whichever words mean forever  I want to be with you Whatever Works.

Cinco de Mayo 1997

 I quit as meteorologist (content writer) at the weather service. I was depressed about my job & my relationship. I walked away from both to become a HIPPIE WRITER. Struggling author filled with inspiration. To live my dream against all common sense.  Today I report. I accomplished that lofty goal. But I had help. Love gave me optimism. Romance gave me you. Worthy of your monogamy I settle for Almost Perfect. I'm still stepping up my game as a writer. A lonely hobby & few spectators. To choose a different path is the American Dream. To change my mind is human. Look at all the content that waited to be created. Success if one person entertains my thoughts. I was never alone in my journey. On this day of personal liberation, gratitude for my moxie to take chances. Thanks to my many muses. Especially thanks to YOU for being here with me. Cinco de Mayo 2023.

When a Man's in Love

Image
When a Man's in Love He wants to give you stuff Jewelry & fur coats Peace of mind Joy & hope All of his free time When a Man's in Love He wants to give back A kiss & touch are not enough He must build the Taj Mahal Give you the stars & shield you from The vast empty icy cold lonely space Between moments of fancy & delight You light up his smile In his memories Sweet happiness  He gives you the universe Writes a thousand tangible poems For you he builds a mansion If only in his heart When a Man's in Love.

Almost fumbled - Straight Guy Seduction

Image
You chat up a straight guy at a bar. Next day he's in your bedroom sober for a hookup. He says he's nervous. He's vulnerable. You're confrontational as you sit so far away. You want him to say out loud what sex he wants. He told you at the bar. What would I do? Let my body do the talking. Supposedly I'm the more experienced gay lover. I would sit beside him. Let my shoulder & leg touch his. I would say, If my hand goes where you're not ready, just push it away. I would place my hand on his thigh. I would place his hand on my wrist & direct my hand to my own thigh. But if you want me to do something, let your body tell me. I would look him in the eyes. Let his grip on my wrist guide my hand to an intimate place. Slowly lean in for a kiss. Don't forget to say, Thanks (say his real name) for being with me. I had a great time. When can I see you again? UPDATE I posted this commentary in the morning. In the afternoon I called my boyfriend to confirm our n

Can't Lose That

Thoughts ramble inside I'm intense AF Edgy & Defiant Ambitious & Arrogant I Can't Lose That Confident & Cocky Calm Energy I Can't Lose That Constructive & Rocky Introspective & Shaky I Can't Lose That As I reach out & reach around I'm intense I was meant for you only My passions & intensity They found a home in your heart I Can't Lose That.