Monogamy Thoughts

What's that supposed to mean? What are you trying to say about me? People are so self-centered. Pride declarations sound like that mixed-race couple who give you the evil eye......like you're judging them. But you weren't thinking about them. ♥️ 

I've been both recently monogamous & open relationship with my boyfriend. I had E.D. & a new cancer drug. I fell guilty I couldn't satisfy my boyfriend. So I opened up the relationship. For about 60 days. Bad idea & poor judgment on my part. 

Jealousy has 3 parts.... Fear of losing your lover, fear you won't find love again, fear of std's. I snapped out of it when I started physical therapy & exercise. I realized my relationship was slipping away. It was tearing him apart also. He's always been more monogamous. We had a date together with the clinic. All clear. 

We recommitted to monogamy & each other. Our love grew deeper. We started a romance blog together. He said we have a "monogamy pact". I simply promised to tell him if I hooked up BEFORE he & I have sex again. In 20 years we've both made that confession a few times. Technically that wasn't open relationship. Just being human. Monogamy is more like a goal. 

It's only been a year & a half since open relationship. I've almost strayed several times. Looking at my digital content, I appear the more likely to be monogamous. But no. My boyfriend keeps teaching me. 💕 

No one can judge me more than I judge myself.