Tone Deaf

Monotone. My boyfriend said to me on the phone yesterday. One statement stood out as more monotone than the others. Recently he described my Gay Poem Podcast #3 as monotone. And I didn't smile enough. He doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

True. My voice is monotone. So is my hearing. I can hear a guitar come into tune. But I cannot tune a guitar. I need the electronic tuner. 

I vary the rhythm of my voice to break up the monotony. I have always used the guitar as a prop. Background to make it easier listen to my lyrics. I can deliver my poems dramatically without music. The podcast is not the first time.

I never mastered melodies. I have written a few. But I rely on chords & words to carry me through the day. Because I am TONE DEAF.

I tried out for chorus in school. The piano rang out a C note. I couldn't match the sound. The coach said I could stay as a non-singing member. Like crew in theater, which I did enjoy after I dropped out of choir.

I'm glad I have something to offer other than a singing voice. It's tough taking constructive criticism. Especially when it comes with a kiss.

Twenty years dating, we're still getting to know each other. I like who you are so far. It's not my speaking voice you're in love with. It's my literary voice. The clarity of thought most of the time.

This blog inspired by you. This heart set on fire by you. You're more than a muse. And I love you.